Trust myself? Who IS my true self anyway!?

 We often hear the phrase "just trust yourself."  Depending on the day, a persons idea of "myself" can change drastically.  We all play different roles, depending on who's watching, where we are, and what the impending consequences may be.  In a world where our environment changes increasingly fast, it can be tough to keep up if we are used to portraying various "selves" in certain circumstances. 

When I was getting dressed this morning, I noticed I wanted to reflect my "responsible businesswoman" self.  Then I remembered I may attend an event after work with a friend, and there I would rather portray my more "artistic laissez faire" side.  How do we reconcile all of our "selves?" 

We integrate the dynamic aspects of our personality so automatically in everyday life, it seems to be barely conscious unless an unexpected situation arises.  For example, a teenager who gets stuck spending an afternoon with his parents AND his friends simultaneously must reconcile the role of "edgy guy" and "cautious young man" to satisfy both roles.  

What roles do you play in your life? Is it possible to play them all at once? As a high school student I remembered seeing one of my teachers out with her boyfriend.  Strangely enough, she seemed exactly the same as she did in the classroom! In another instance, I saw a supervisor on her day off, and she went from what looked like Ms. Prim & Proper to Steamy Seductress. If someone saw you out of your typical environment, would they be surprised? 

I remember reading a quote somewhere that explains in order to be in full integrity with yourself,  your actions, words, and intentions must be aligned.  How can the male teenager be both edgy and cautious at the same time? His words would be different from his true intentions, at least part of the time in order to portray both traits to his particular audience.

Everyone encompasses seemingly "opposite" characteristics.  When we think of our true self, we do have predominating tendencies that we like to claim as our own, which help form our identity.  Most athletes like to think of themselves as fit, disciplined, and capable.  Although, inside every athlete is a 5 year old with his hand in the cookie jar--it just takes the right circumstances for it to surface.  Nevertheless, we create our "self" based on the identity we would like to assume, and choose traits accordingly. 

If we choose our behavior and (to some degree) our personality, who is our true self, exactly?  Part of the beauty of being a teenager is having the freedom to explore who we want to be and "try on" potential versions of ourselves.  When we reach adulthood, we do eventually start to solidify who we are.  Eventually we start to become who we REALLY are with the majority of people in our life, in most circumstances.  We realize that we no longer need to play certain roles as often as we used to.

One of the keys to knowing who we truly are is to begin to make the journey from the head to the heart.  According to a Native American proverb, it's the longest journey we'll ever make. I like to look at heart centered people for inspiration.  Gandhi is one of my favorite examples.  He radiated authenticity from the very core of his being.  He was being true to himself, and in the process caused a ripple effect that touched thousands.

Lao Tzu's thought helps explain what happens when we find and express our true self" "When pure sincerity forms within, it is outwardly realized in other people's hearts."